Spencer Heath's
Series
Spencer Heath Archive
Item 3183
Lengthy typed doggerel by an unknown author, possibly Heath, making fun of the New Deal
Decade of the 1930s
CURRENT POLITICS
Though my product may not show it
I essay too be a poet
And I’m seeking light and information.
Now, who balances the Budget?
This is no time to “fudge.” It
Is of great importance to the nation.
If our high-up legislatives
Caught the thought of simple natives
They might relieve that budget first themselves –
Cut their salaries in half –
Give their perquisites the gaff –
Not jump on fellows lower down, poor elves.
But the millions poor and jobless
Find them callous and quite sobless.
No unemployment gets beneath their skin –
Constantly they’re adding to it.
Prohibitions will not do it.
Restrictions cannot help to make men win.
There is such a thing as logic
And you can’t forever dodge it –
No matter what your congressman may say.
It seems queer to think of curing
Hardships such as we’re enduring
By cutting down production every day.
Now, the farmer, so says rumor,
Needs a helping. The Consumer
His Congress says shall pay the cost, by heck, –
If Consumer hoards his penny
Or, indeed, he hasn’t any
I’d like to know who gets it in the neck.
Or if Congress, just to please him,
Finds a way that guarantees him
‘Gainst loss, whatever happens to U.S.
In our system economic
Won’t this move be worse than comic
With the budget getting more instead of less?
Well, our yesteryear’s good dinner
Is today a darn sight thinner –
So, poor folks, draw your belts in for relief –
Small as now your loaf of bread is,
So great the cost of overhead is,
Your loaf will sure be shrinking, to your grief.
But the cost of bread must go up –
And your appetite slow up –
That budget must be balanced, don’t you see?
If for beer your hunger hankers
Give up half and save the bankers
That budget’s fed by folks like you and me.
Take the widow and her pension –
Thirty dollars – small to mention –
Assured her in her country’s happier day.
Shall she too not help the budget?
Cut to fifteen – should she grudge it?
Shall want and destitution bar the way?
Or the shell-shocked veteran seedy
In his wits a trifle needy –
Shear him down, both care and compensation;
U.S. payrolls promised smaller
Yet the nation’s debts grow taller
‘Guised in what is called self-liquidation
I am seeking, dumbly seeking,
Some great mind with knowledge reeking
Who can give me light and solve the matter.
Will those talked of bonds, some billions,
Spread out thinly, feed our millions
Or be lent abroad and leave us flatter?
I would like to know the reason
Why we people, who in season,
Had kept a little gold and put it by
Must yield up our precious metal
To the Federal Reserve kettle.
Can Morgan, Dawes or Meyer tell us why?
There’s our sapient Mr. Woodin –
How can he come out so good in
Shipping gold despite Frank D.’s embargo?
Did our Franklin ipse dixit
Or the House of Morgan fix it –
Privilege of that Woodin ship and cargo.
Should that highty money pirate,
J.P. Morgan, now desire it
How can his mild inflation stay away?
Was it with a leer sardonic
Or a baffled sneer ironic
He gave degraded dollars his okay?
Ah, that precious plan, inflation,
Dollars cheapened with elation,
Prices raised to more than we can pay!
When the gold today we borrow
Can be paid in lead tomorrow
Small wonder it is hidden all away.
Now, while in this muddle groping,
I and several more are hoping
Some “Daniel come to judgment” may appear.
Not, however, Daniel Roper –
He of Commerce lore the doper
Where “raddio” broadcastings are far from clear.
Will our franklin be the wiser
With this Daniel for adviser
Who gives the Founding Fathers no renown?
Was T. Jefferson a dummy?
Is our Constitution rummy?
Can Democratic stomachs keep that down?
Now I’ve got another notion
Since this thing was set in motion. –
This gold about which F.D. seems so hurt –
There’s the cotton I am wearing,
If I’ve gold, then am I daring
When I say he might also take my shirt?
Of that silver, too, I’m thinking –
That too us dear England linking –
And Congress knew F.D. would cut it low –
“Twixt the promised price and market
Didn’t Deah Auld England “lark” it?
Ten token millions cut to seven, you know.
Wouldn’t that same bit of money
Make our veteran’s lives more sunny?
Why must our new dictator cut them cold?
Are we, after all, but chess men
Moved as suits him and his yes-men –
The pedagogic crowd to whom we’re sold?
Bank deposits guaranteeing –
It’s a thing beyond my seeing
How five hundred can protest for twice as much.
If of gold the laws despoil me
How can reason but recoil me
From Glass and Steagall’s plans, or any such.
And that time when Glass grew tragic
And would stop Pecora’s magic
Rushing to Morgan’s aid and succor –
Had some other palms been greased up?
Why was he in such a precious pucker?
And that migratory Davis,
(Surely he’s one rara avis)
Mixt up with Woodin in kind Morgan’s band –
Like Raskob, perhaps one day
He’ll reciprocate in some way
But some way that’s quite proper, understand.
There’s our Labor Seecretary
(Messrs. Green and Woll be wary
Lest your unions bow to Federal minions!)
Is our Perkins Soviet minded
And, perhaps, a little blinded
By her crass collectivist opinions?
Then if all her previous planning
Will admit some further scanning
Autocratic bureaus are expensive.
Will ten thousand in their fervor
For her Soviet theories serve her
Payless – or for salaries extensive?
Kindly look, my friends and neighbors,
Back of socialistic labors
Where Moscow-pattern plannings take their shape
Taxed and chiseled of your money,
Doped with propaganda honey,
How shall you from that slavery escape?
Messrs. Freeman, do you like it?
No? Then now’s the time to spike it!
Leave no chance for socialist dictator.
Watch your congressmen- they need it!
Guard your country’s purse – they bleed it!
Guard your freedom now – you cannot later!
Free men form the STATE. Who gave them
To a “STATE” that would enslave them?
In whose gift are “OUR HUMAN RESOURCES”
Are you men or are you cattle?
Dare he say that without battle?
Your freedom is ALMIGHTY HEAVEN’S DOWER.
Free men formed our State. What gave them
To a “STATE” that should enslave them?
When passed all power from makers to created?
When close they to take on fetters? –
They who owned the State, NOT DEBTORS?
THAT OWNERSHIP HAS NEVER BEEN ABATED.